How Are You Hiding?

The other day, this question came up during one of our Impact Incubator coaching calls:

How are you hiding?

“Procrastinating on showing up on social media,” one person said.

“I limit myself by hiding my true knowledge and believing in my own power when I am facilitating,” another chimed in.

“I allow the enormity of my vision to let me freeze and not take action,” said another.

“I let others get feedback on these calls and am content to learn from them, when I should really be asking the questions I need for my own feedback,” said another.

No matter what level you’ve achieved, there’s always an opportunity to step into a fuller, more seen, more authentic version of yourself.  

So let us ask you this:

HOW ARE YOU HIDING?

Are you avoiding new headshots until you’ve gotten a new wardrobe/lost weight/felt more confident?

Are you tinkering with your website to make it perfect before sharing it with the world?

Are you showing up in all the places but not making any offers for fear of rejection?

For so many of us, it’s the guise of perfection that gets in the way of good enough and keeps us safe and comfortable.

But you can’t grow in your comfort zone.  Growing is inherently UNCOMFORTABLE.

Hiding, theoretically keeps us emotionally safe, but at what cost?

The cost of really attaining the life you desire?  

The cost of squandering your gifts and NOT serving in the way you’ve been called?  

The cost of telling the people you love to go after their dreams when you continue to model staying small?

You are being called to take up more space.  To own your expertise. To stand tall in what you know and generously share it with the world.

So where are you hiding?

Here are three tips that have helped us when we feel compelled to hide:

Identify the reason behind your resistance

My resistance comes primarily from “what will others think of me,” even though I really don’t feel a need to fit in.  It’s weird and I hate admitting it. I’m aware enough to know that the majority of the people in my inner circle really are not paying that much attention to me in the first place.  And then,  I’ve actually taken a step further and pinpointed a few actual people in my life who I subconsciously give my power away to, when I imagine them criticizing what I’m doing online. 

My solution?  Actually block those people from my technological spaces (either permanently or temporarily while I'm feeling extra vulnerable during a launch.)  It frees me to share what I know needs sharing, without the feeling like someone is watching and judging.   

In a similar vein, if you have an app who tells you who unfollows you on social media, and you suffer from the “what will others think” syndrome, get rid of that app right this second.  And while you’re at it, if you have notifications turned on for when someone unsubscribes to your newsletter, turn those off too, and do not check individual unsubscribes. It's unnecessary and unhelpful until you can look objectively.

Reconnect with your why

Listen, there will be days you won’t feel like being visible, or talking about your offers, or standing in your expertise.  This is when you need to remind yourself WHY you started this whole journey of entrepreneurship in the first place.  If your why is JUST money and YOUR financial security, you will talk yourself out of truly stepping into the light. You will find ways to be content where you are– no matter your level of income.  

Your why needs to be connected to something bigger– something outside yourself– maybe it’s setting a good example for your kids, maybe it’s breaking generational cycles of poverty for future generations, maybe it’s serving the community you came from, maybe it’s ensuring equal rights for all, maybe it’s to trailblaze a path in an industry that doesn’t have many people who look like you, maybe it’s to help kids have access to food, or the social/emotional skills to self-regulate because it will lead to a generation of loving leaders…. 

You get the point.  WHY do you care?  If that reason is bigger than your urge to hide, you’re on the right track. 

Join forces– there is courage in numbers

Human nature says, we are more likely to let ourselves down than we are to let others down.  Find an accountability buddy or a mastermind or a group of people who are, as Brene Brown puts it, “in the arena getting their butt kicked on occasion”-- meaning people who are also stepping out of their comfort zones, feeling the fear and doing it anyway, and rising into the next level version of themselves.  In other words, don’t pick an accountability buddy who is content with hiding themselves.  

This is probably one of the most powerful aspects of the Impact Incubator.  We all lovingly hold each other accountable to our greatness.  

No hiding allowed.